Kids

In the last week, I've had two girls at work say to me "just wait until you have kids." The first conversation went something like this:

Co-worker: Just wait until you have kids (I forget what we were talking about).

Me: I don't want kids.

Co-worker: That's what I said and then I turned 31 and had a baby.

Me: Well, I am 41 and have never wanted kids. 

Today, two co-workers were talking about how it's hard for them to buy for themselves because they have kids. The one co-worker looked at me and tried to explain. 

I typically don't give this conversation a second thought but because it happened twice in a week I have been thinking about it. 

There has not been one time in my 41 years that I have even considered wanting my own kid. I don't believe that even if I was in a committed relationship earlier on that I would have wanted kids. 

I love kids. When I was younger, I babysat for a few families in our neighborhood. I can even picture their houses. I did bath time, dinner, and bed time. There was one family that lived down the street from us. They had three boys. I babysat those boys all the time. The family ended up moving and they would come pick me up and take me on road trips. I recall the parents driving a really nice Mercedes Benz. I recall going to this barn one time for a family reunion.  I remember it being so hot and humid outside.  I went to the barn and explored because it was creepy and there were antiques there. I cleaned, did the laundry, dishes, bath time, bed time, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I changed hundreds of diapers. I mixed that nasty smelling cereal with formula. Man that stuff smelled. You know what was really good? Apricots in the jars.

When I turned eighteen, I moved in with my sister and her husband. When my first niece was born, I was thrilled. I would bring Morgan to bed with me at night and then my sister would come get her and put her in her crib. I would hold her as often as I could. I am what you call a baby hog. I love newborn babies (accept when they get the hiccups. I don't do hiccups). When I would see my other niece and nephew, I would snatch them out of their car seats as soon as they'd get to my parents. 

While I have never wanted my own kids, that doesn't mean I wouldn't welcome being a step-mom. 

People ask me why I don't want kids. It's simple. I just don't. I don't have some deep rooted reason. When my best friend comes to work in the morning calling her four year old an asshole because he wouldn't go pee or get dressed, it reaffirms my decision.