Meaningful Relationships

I have been thinking about Joey a lot today and our relationship. If you knew him, you know he was the best. Everyone loved him. You could take him anywhere and he would fit in. He was always calm and laidback. The complete opposite of me! We would go to the mall and would not even make it down the first hallway and he would know someone. It would take us forever to get through the mall because we would constantly stop to say hi to someone. His best friend, Carlos and I would joke about it all the time. Because of his health, Joey didn't work a lot of the time. I would be half asleep during the week and he'd come tell me he was going out.  He really was the true definition of a social butterfly.  After a while, it started to bother me that he always needed to be out with people he barely knew at the bars/clubs. Joey was often in the hospital for two weeks to do a "clean out." People with Cystic Fibrosis do this to get their lungs cleaned out. While he was in the hospital, his family would visit him. I don't recall Carlos going to see him but it's been so long I may just not remember. I was there a few nights a week after work, and on the weekends I would go up later in the evening and we would watch movies on my laptop. I even remember him filling out Christmas cards with me. When he had his lung & pancreas transplant, it was his family, me, and Carlos who were at the hospital sitting in the waiting room for over twelve hours. I would not have wanted to be anywhere else. I always had to see him so I knew how he was really doing. He would never tell you how he was feeling so I had to see him in person. 

My point in all of this is that he always wanted to be out and around people. The people that truly loved him and mattered were at home. On the weekends, we went out together. During the week he would go out without me because I had work in the morning. I think part of him wanted to have all of these acquaintances because they didn't know about his health. He didn't have me and his family breathing down his neck to take care of himself.  I might be wrong. I wish I could ask him. 

I am definitely an introvert. I like deep meaningful conversations with people who truly know me. I don't like small talk. If I need advice, I want a friend that will tell me I am wrong. My relationship with my best friend, Stacia, is the true definition of that. She has no problem telling me if I am wrong. If she does tell me I am wrong, I have to sit back and reevaluate the situation. My friends and I share everything - bathroom habits included. That's the kind of friendship I want. A few months ago, my niece bought a new car. She told me the next day. I knew I was being ridiculous and extra but my feelings were hurt that she didn't tell me she was getting a car when she was at the dealership. It's because I want to celebrate the wins with others. I want that deep connection. Does that make sense? 

I am very intuitive. I notice everything. I study people and their behaviors. I get "feelings" at times that something is not right. I can get this rush come over me about Stacia and know that something is not right. As I have gotten older, I have noticed that people (like Joey) who have a lot of "friends" tend to not have deep meaningful relationships. They don't open up easily and most people don't really know them. 

Having acquaintances can be important. You can learn so much from others. At the end of the day though, will all of these "friends" be there for you? I promise you that most of them will not. Cherish those that love you because at the end of the day, they are the ones who matter.