When dating, you're supposed to seem interesting like you don't sit at home every night. I could fib and say I'm going out, but I don't fib well and I'm not into playing stupid dating games. I wanna portray myself honestly. Back in my 20's is when I went out three nights a week to dance. I stayed up late and slept all day. Now, I'm perfectly content coming home from work and curling up with my DVR and a book. I'm content being in bed at 11:00 pm on a Saturday. But, I'm beginning to question whether I really am content. I think it's more that I'm worried what other people think which is completely unlike me. I don't usually care what people think about me.
This takes me to the next question. What makes me happy? What do I enjoy doing? In the book I'm reading The Happiness Project, I'm on the chapter now where the author works on doing more of what makes her happy and finding more fun. Oddly enough, when I opened my gratitude journal today, the next suggestion was to write down three things that make you happy.
If going out to the bars/clubs isn't what makes me happy anymore, I shouldn't be embarrassed by that. If sitting on my couch with a book and catching up on my DVR is what makes me happy, I shouldn't be embarrassed by that. I like being home on the weekends to unwind and mentally relax. I like being home so Amelya can play outside. It makes me laugh how she'll stay outside all day long exploring the backyard.
There are lots of things I would like to do, but I don't want to do them alone. I feel like that's what people don't understand. I would like to get off the couch, but I want someone to get off the couch with. There's a lot of fall activities I would like to check out at Soloman Farm. In the summer, I wouldn't mind driving to the Tin Caps just to watch the fireworks after the games. There are lots of outdoor concerts around town in the summer too (as long as it's not 100 degrees). I've been really wanting to go to Chicago for the weekend. I'm up for any type of water park in the summer. I've been wanting to go to Michigan and check out all the lakes and lighthouses.
For now, I need to be content with myself. Not worry so much what people think about my weekend hobbies and what makes me happy.
On another note, I was hoping an old friend was going to text me this weekend to maybe grab dinner or have a bonfire. Well, I never heard from this friend. That takes me to a conversation I had with Jessica a few weeks ago. She said,
"...but honestly I think if you stop letting others get to you and disappoint you & just don’t have expectations of others, until you find the person you should have expectations with then you will be a lot less disappointed. I know it sounds bad & is really hard, but you have to stop caring so much…once you let that go, you will be happier, I promise you that! Expectations are hard even if you can count on the other person."
It puts things into prospective. I am disappointed I didn't hear from this friend. But, I shouldn't be. I shouldn't have had any expectation that I was going to hear from this person. No expectation = no disappointment. Makes perfect sense. Makes things a little less traumatizing. (If you knew me you'd know why I said "traumatizing.")
I'm really going to work on finding more things that make me happy and making sure I'm having more fun. It's gonna be tough, but nothing comes easy.
No comments:
Post a Comment