Over the last two weeks, I've had not one, not two, but three people make comments to me about my not wanting children.
People have told me over the years that I'll change my mind eventually. Especially when I was younger, people would tell me that all the time. The only time I ever remember thinking I wish I had kids was when Joey passed away. I thought what if he and I would have had a kid together? Other than that, not one time do I recall wanting kids. A few of the more recent books I've read, the women in the stories mention their uterus's having some reaction to seeing children. I've never had such a reaction. Ever.
I don't think in anyway does my not wanting to have children make me any less a woman. If I found a guy that had children, I would be 100% OK with that. Well, I take that back. As long as he doesn't have 10 kids with 10 different baby mamas. I would actually prefer he have children so that he doesn't want any with me. Unless, he's 100% sure he doesn't want children like me.
I've been around kids my whole life. When I was in middle school, there was a neighbor of ours that had three boys. I was at their house after school and on weekends helping take care of the boys. I did everything...fed them, changed diapers, bathed them, put them to bed... I was kinda like a nanny. I went on vacations with the family and was always right there helping out. I also babysat for a family member of theirs and a few other neighbors of ours.
It's not like I don't know anything about kids. I know a lot actually. I'm always taking my nieces and nephews places and I like having my friends' kids around. Kids are actually quite funny. They can always make you laugh.
I've had a good life. But, I've struggled for years to be happy with my life. Happiness is not a destination I've learned, but a journey. I'm hoping my journey leads me to love and being able to enjoy my life. Someone said to me the other day that I might find happiness if I did have kids. All I can say is that I don't believe having children for me would make me happy. I can't describe necessarily into words why I don't want children. I just know that I don't.
Everyone has opinions about my not wanting children. But, don't you worry. I have plenty of my own opinions about your wanting children.
Even though it's 2014, there are still clearly a lot of people out there that think having children is what a woman does. Guess what? I don't like to cook either.
All I ask is that you don't judge me for not wanting to have children. And, I'll try not to judge you for wanting to have a Brady Bunch.
I don't think in anyway does my not wanting to have children make me any less a woman. If I found a guy that had children, I would be 100% OK with that. Well, I take that back. As long as he doesn't have 10 kids with 10 different baby mamas. I would actually prefer he have children so that he doesn't want any with me. Unless, he's 100% sure he doesn't want children like me.
I've been around kids my whole life. When I was in middle school, there was a neighbor of ours that had three boys. I was at their house after school and on weekends helping take care of the boys. I did everything...fed them, changed diapers, bathed them, put them to bed... I was kinda like a nanny. I went on vacations with the family and was always right there helping out. I also babysat for a family member of theirs and a few other neighbors of ours.
It's not like I don't know anything about kids. I know a lot actually. I'm always taking my nieces and nephews places and I like having my friends' kids around. Kids are actually quite funny. They can always make you laugh.
I've had a good life. But, I've struggled for years to be happy with my life. Happiness is not a destination I've learned, but a journey. I'm hoping my journey leads me to love and being able to enjoy my life. Someone said to me the other day that I might find happiness if I did have kids. All I can say is that I don't believe having children for me would make me happy. I can't describe necessarily into words why I don't want children. I just know that I don't.
Everyone has opinions about my not wanting children. But, don't you worry. I have plenty of my own opinions about your wanting children.
Even though it's 2014, there are still clearly a lot of people out there that think having children is what a woman does. Guess what? I don't like to cook either.
All I ask is that you don't judge me for not wanting to have children. And, I'll try not to judge you for wanting to have a Brady Bunch.
2 comments:
My wife and I got married in agreement that neither of us wanted children. 13 years into our marriage we decided to do it and now have a wonderful 3 year old. I am not saying this to say "you will change you mind" but instead to say find someone who feels the same because you might not change your mind. We are happy to have changed our minds, but we had 15 awesome years without kids. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I am still shocked that we both changed and we really dont know what happened! But since we both got married in agreement that we did not want kids, there was no pressure to fake anything and together our views and desires changed. Our journey together must have effected us both in a similar way. But things would have been different if one of us really wanted kids at the beginning. Just make sure your spouse is honest in their desire to not have kids as well. Being a dink (double income no kids) is great! And Being daddy is great now too. Its good you know what you want and dont want. Dont compromise.
I appreciate this. Nice to know not everyone thinks I am crazy for not wanting kids.
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