A dash of sass in life and love

I've written about The Single Woman before in my blog. I love following her on Twitter because she tweets great quotes.  I recently downloaded her book onto my Kindle. While some of it did not pertain to me (which I'll go into later), there were still a lot of great lessons to learn.  My FAVORITE quote was this: "We (meaning women) assume that in order for something to be done right, we have to do it ourselves.  As a single women we tend to think God needs our help figuring out the master plan for our lives." I read that and my mouth dropped open. It was like finding out all over again that Santa Claus really does not exist.  I, for sure, am guilty of this 110%.

Some of my other favs in the book were "Happiness doesn't have to be chased.  It merely has to be chosen." "Change your thoughts, and your life will follow." "By changing your mind-set and your attitude, you might just change your life."

I had a discussion with my girlfriend the other day about my perception of married people.  I attribute a lot of my problems to being single.  So, naturally, I would perceive married people to not have as many problems. Meaning that they have each other to lean on. Don't get me wrong, I'm not that naive to think that married people don't have problems.  The problems I see that would be resolved if I were to be in a relationship would be that I have someone to come home to after work and vent to. Just recently, I had to take my car to the shop. I sounded so pathetic when I said to my dad, "well it's not like I have a husband to help drop off my car and take me to where I need to go. I don't have another car I can use because I'm not married." Guess what? I didn't need to have a husband because Enterprise came and picked me up and took me to work. Who'da thought? Perhaps my husband would have insurance so I wouldn't be faced with the challenges I have been over the years and will continue to face with this so-called Affordable Healthcare Act.  Lastly, my number one problem would be that I wouldn't be as lonely because I'd have someone around.

You know when people tell you that you look tired, but what they really mean to say is that you look like shit? Or, when something bad happens that you didn't want to happen, like you're not hired for the position you're dying to have, and people say it wasn't meant to be or something better is going to come along? Those are just things you're supposed to say, right?  Well, that's how I feel when people say things like you have to make yourself happy before you can make someone else happy. Or, find out who you are before you get into a relationship. While those comments I do believe to be 100% true, I always wondered about those people that are never single. We all know at least one person like that.  They jump from one boyfriend to another before they end up getting married. Well when did they take the time to find out who they really were? Have they always been happy so they didn't have to worry about making themselves happy before finding that one? What's the secret?

There was one part of the book that talked about being a single mom, so that obviously doesn't pertain to me. Although, a client asked me today when my baby was due (no joke). There were some parts of the book that talked about self-esteem and believing in yourself.  I really don't struggle with those things.  Well at least not until today when I was asked when my baby was due. HA! I never struggled in school to fit in. Either I did or I didn't. I never succumbed to peer pressure so I would fit in.

I've narrowed down what I need to work on.

1. Gratefulness. I truly believe that God is not going to give me what I am asking for if I cannot wake up everyday and be grateful for what I already have. I got a Gratitude journal from my best friend and I have really been working on writing in it when I find myself not being grateful. I've made it fun by adding in my favorite quotes and little stickers I had laying around my house. The biggest challenge I've found is not opening up the journal and start rambling about my problems (that's what blogging is for).

2. Like I wrote above, my two other favorite quotes in the book were "Happiness doesn't have to be chased.  It merely has to be chosen," "Change your thoughts, and your life will follow," and "By changing your mind-set and your attitude, you might just change your life."

I have got to start choosing to by happy. Life is too short, right?  I am working on waking up everyday and living my life in a happy state-of-mind. Do I have my bad days? Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I had a horrible weekend. Just mentally I couldn't get myself out of the funk I was in.

I have got to change my attitude. It's no secret that I'm not the most upbeat positive person around. When I think of someone that I've crossed paths with over the years that always carried a positive attitude, I think of Ashley who I worked with at Verizon. She never had anything bad to say about anyone. She was always in a good mood. She made me happy when I was around her. When I look at her life, she has a husband who is equally as happy and positive as she is, she has two boys, and within the last year or two bought a new house. Do I think her positive outlook on life has gotten her to where she is today? Absolutely.  When I was reading The Untethered Soul, one of the chapters discussed God and how He (or anyone) would rather surround themselves with positive people. Duh! Who wouldn't? Again, I'm not naive to think that she doesn't have problems.

I'm definitely a work in progress. But, it can only get better from here, right? At least I hope because what I do know is that what I have been doing is not working out for me (thank you Dr. Phil).